Teaching Kids Purpose- Not Self Esteem

the comparison trap!

Do You Compare Yourself to Others?

Last week’s blog was about comparing ourselves to others.  Have you been crushed when you don’t meet others, or your own expectations? Are you surprised that the biblical answer is not about feeling better about yourself and your attempts to succeed? No, that is the world’s answer. If you didn’t read the full blog, you can go back and read it here.

Teaching Kids purposeFor years in teaching kids purpose, parents have been taught that the most important thing we could give our kids was self esteem.  This teaching has led parents to find what their kids were good at, and watch them succeed and praise them profusely. Although, in the proper context we need to praise our kids, this extreme can cause disastrous results.

  • Kids that perform well because they are primarily looking for success or praise will be left empty when someday it doesn’t come.
  • And they also are not learning the right reasons they should do good things.

Teaching Kids Purpose- The Biblical Answer

The biblical answer to this is found in Ephesians 2:8-10. I love these verses because here is found God’s answer to teaching kids purpose for their lives. So many search high and low to find their life purpose. We give giftedness tests, we ask life counselors, we read the recent magazines, we read books, yet here is the real answer in Scripture! Kids are not too young to begin to understand this. In fact, this is the best time to begin to teaching kids purpose, that of the importance of living out God’s purpose.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says that our relationship with God is a gift from Him. It is nothing we have done, nor can we earn it, or be proud. It is purely a gift. Then verse 10 says we are his workmanship! We are a special creation crafted by the Master Craftsman. He says that we were created for good works, and here is the clincher- He prepared them for us “beforehand.” He had his plan for us from before the foundation of the world! (Eph. 1:4)

God Has Planned Good Things for Us to Do

We don’t define our purpose- God does! That is a simple but great lesson. I find it very encouraging that I don’t have to strive to figure out what I am to do. I just follow Him. I do His will (not always very well, I might add) and He leads and directs. How we discern His will is another blog in itself. This takes the pressure off of needing to do something that I am the best at. No, like Moses, what I do isn’t defined by what I do well. Rather, I do what God want me to do, what He has already planned for me to do. It doesn’t matter how I will perform, if I am doing what God wants me to do. If I do my best, that is what matters.

When we sit on the sidelines, comparing ourselves to everyone else, we might think we cannot do something as well, so we don’t want to try. Or we only will do things we will receive praise for. This is totally opposite from what God tells us in Ephesians 2:8-10. And this is the message of my book, Mr. Blue- a Job for You.

What’s New?

For teaching kids purpose, I have something new that might be fun for you! If you have read Mr. Blue, you know that Mr. Blue meets many different shapes, each can do something that he can’t do. He is discouraged, that is until the end, when he finds they have come together and formed a puzzle and there is a place for him that God had planned all along. Planned for him, even as he sat along the side of the road discouraged, when everyone passed by and invited him to join them. I have designed an app for Android and iOS that is a puzzle where the Mr. Blue characters can be dragged into place to complete the puzzle. this is designed to go with Mr. Blue- a Job for You. Here is the link for more information about the apps.

 

Laurie Donahue is an author and speaker who lives in Southern California. She has written or co-written 6 books for children and teens, including the bestseller, "God Should I Be Baptized?" She holds a California Community College Teaching Credential. Laurie's website is www.lauriedonahue.com.

Leave comments or questions below. Laurie and others reading would love to hear what you think. Thanks!

2 thoughts on “Teaching Kids Purpose- Not Self Esteem

Comments are closed.