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Comparison That Crushes

Moses' Memorable Mistake

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Who is your “comparison that crushes?”

Do you remember a time in your life (or maybe it’s even right now), that you looked at everyone around you and felt hopeless. Maybe not hopeless in a general sense, but hopeless in your ability to make a meaningful contribution. Jen was a better artist, Mark was a better speaker, Sarah was more congenial and had many friends, Joe was brilliant, Mary was clever, Sally was gorgeous, and even the “unknown soldier” had qualities of bravery that you didn’t have. How discouraging it can be to look around us and compare ourselves, our “insides,” to the “outsides” of the best of the best. Yes, comparison crushes! We know very well our internal thoughts and failures and we compare those to the shiny, polished, practiced and perfected part of others that they allow us to see.

ComparisonI was the youngest of four kids in my family. All of my siblings excelled in the various things they did. One sister was an extremely talented musician, my brother was student body president of our high school, and another sister was the lead in the school musical and socially strong. Then I came along. I felt I couldn’t keep up with any of them, much less all of them. Clearly, my viewpoint of life was not a healthy one, nor a godly one. This was comparison that crushes.

 

Where did Moses go wrong?

The Christian is not exempt from these feelings. In fact, our desire for sanctification may even make us more desire to do things well. That, in itself, is not bad, but when it becomes self-focused and in our own strength, it is not biblical. When God appeared to Moses and asked him to do a task, to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses’ first reaction was to tell God that he was not the best person for the job because he did not speak eloquently. Scripture tells us that this made God angry. Can you imagine that? The great leader, Moses, made God angry because he questioned his ability to do God’s request. He figured there was someone else who could do it better. Well maybe there was, but God was asking him, not someone else! This is the comparison that crushes. When we compare ourselves to others, we crush our responsiveness to God’s leading.

Somewhere along this road of life, God taught me that comparing myself to others was very wrong. He taught me that my eyes should not be on myself nor on the others around me, but that my eyes should be on Him. If I am focused on God and serving Him, and Him alone, I won’t worry if I am doing a good enough job. I will jump to do His will and not question His will. I am still learning the “Moses lesson” of listening to God and responding in full trust of Him.

A modern day parable of Ephesians 2:10.

It is from this place that I wrote “Mr. Blue- a Job For You.” Mr. Blue is a story based on Ephesians 2:10. He is a blue triangle that sits on the side of the road, comparing himself to each of his friend’s colors and shapes as they pass by. Each of them has qualities that he doesn’t have. He feels useless and uninspired. When they invite him to come and help, he declines. But in the end of the story he is surprised to find that God had a special job for him all along, a job that only he could do.

Has there been a time in your life when you found yourself responding more to the world’s expectations than to God’s? How did God change you or are you still waiting for the change? Who or what was your comparison. Please share with us!

Next week I will explore the topic of how to teach kids to seek God’s purpose for them in the second of the Comparison that Crushes series.

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Emphasis Makes a Difference!

as in six steamy knits...

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Be Accurate

I think that one of the most important things in teaching kids the Bible is to be accurate to the Bible writers’ intentions. Although men first wrote the words on stone or papyrus, the ultimate writer of Scripture was God. Boy, we really don’t want to mess His words up! We really want to do our best to relay His message, accurately, to the best of our ability.

 

A Matter of Emphasis

Know Scripture and Context

This could mean that we have to be a bit more mindful about a few things. We certainly need to know Scripture well. We need to know the heart of God through His words. So proper preparation and overall biblical knowledge is really important. We also need to understand the context of the passage by reading the surrounding text. History and setting are both really important to clearly know the intention of the writer.

So when we teach kids, we need to present Scripture, as it is written, without changing its content or intent of what the author was trying to convey. But even if we don’t alter its content, there are ways we can actually alter the message without changing it at all.

Don’t Teach What You Want it to Say!

Sometimes we might decide what we want Scripture to say. We might have preconceived ideas of what it means based on our own thoughts or we may want Scripture to line up with our culture. Both of these are dangerous as we can change Scripture by reinterpreting it. Don’t do it!

Don’t Change the Emphasis

If we change the emphasis, we can project a completely different message than the written Word intended. Several years ago, I was at an extended family gathering and someone brought the game, Mad Gabs. I hadn’t seen it before, and it was a lot of fun. Maybe you have played it. You have to read the words on the card and figure out the answer to a clue by changing the emphasis of the words. If you changed the emphasis, it said something completely different than what was written on the card. We laughed at all of them but one was especially funny! I think the clue had something to do with seconds. The words were:

“Six Steamy Knits.”

I will let you think about it for awhile so you can have some fun with it, and give you the answer at the end of this blog.

What a difference it made when the emphasis was place on a different syllable and the punctuation was changed. It meant something completely different.

We have probably all changed emphasis to change perspective, (I am sorry to say.) It is sometimes difficult to face our imperfections (sins). I am sure somebody reading this may identify with this experience or something similar. After showing up late to an event, have you ever said something like this? “I am so sorry I am late! The traffic was so bad!” While this is very true, it is just more convenient to leave out the fact that you left late and wouldn’t have made it on time anyway. You didn’t say anything untruthful, yet, you have altered the perception of what really happened. This is so easy to do. (I know this because this example came to my mind because I have done it. I was convicted at one point and I have been conscious to be entirely truthful these days.)

We want to be very careful to teach Scripture in such away that we don’t alter its meaning by over or under emphasizing any part so the intention is changed. You can be more accurate if you know Scripture well, Know the context, prepare well, and be sure to teach what it says and not what you might want it to say.

And the answer to the game was: Sixty Minutes.

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Conversational Words or “Teacher Words?”

Tips to Teach Their Language

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What Language Are You Speaking?

Have you ever traveled to a foreign country? I mean a foreign country where people don’t speak English? Have you tried to communicate and you have had no clue what a person was saying, or couldn’t get someone to understand what you want? What do you revert to? Sign Language!

 

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It can be very frustrating. Here is a little sentence for you to read and see how long it takes you to figure out what it is saying.

“So vast the expanse of the divine magnanimity for we who tread this mortal coil, that He abnegated His sole scion to the end that proselytes therein would be spared the lot of all flesh, to endure in perpetuity.”

Did you get that? Did they use conversational words? You might have to read it a couple of times. Why is it so hard to read? Is it because what it is saying is so complicated? That can’t be it, because at first you don’t even know what it’s saying. You don’t know whether it’s complicated or not. I think this paragraph is hard for a couple of reasons. When we use conversational words, these are generally not the words we would choose. First of all, we may not know the definitions for many of the words. And secondly, the construction of the sentence is a bit complicated. It isn’t laid out simply. (Keep reading for the answer to what this sentence says.)

If you want to understand this, you might look up each of the words individually to see what they mean. When you know what each of the words mean individually, then you can put them together and maybe even rearrange them to make sense of the paragraph.

Use Conversational Words- Big Words or Not?

Do you use conversational words with students- or others in your life for that matter? There are many that teach by using only big words that are not in the students vocabulary. Are they trying to make an impression on students and parents? Or perhaps they just don’t realize what words are in the student’s vocabulary. One can be very familiar with certain words so it doesn’t occur to him that they might be foreign to the students. This happens often with Christian “lingo.” You can see from the example above how well that all goes.

Then there are some that use conversational words when they teach, but no big words, because they don’t believe kids can handle them. Those kids then lose the richness of learning language. Actually, I think that kids love to learn what big words mean so they can feel more intelligent and they feel challenged. There are many advantages of a large vocabulary. However, they will be lost if they aren’t led correctly through that learning process.

Kids Can Learn Concepts!

Because kids don’t have the vocabulary that adults have- or at least not the same vocabulary, does that mean they can’t understand the concepts? No, not at all. The concept can be much easier to learn than the vocabulary! If the concept is broken down into building blocks, it can be easy to learn and then the vocabulary can follow.

Teach Concept First (Free sample below)

I don’t think we should shy away from big words, but rather we should first teach the message simply, we use conversational words. When we are sure they have learned and understand the message, we teach them the harder word, making the connection between the concept and the word. Saying the word once will not cause him to remember it but then coming back and repeating it multiple times as you repeat the concept multiple times will cause the student to learn it. What can you do?

  • Have the student repeat it. Break down the syllables.
  • Draw pictures of what the word means.
  • Draw pictures of each syllable that can be tied into what the word means.
  • Give little prizes to whoever remembers the word at the end of class or next week. Be sure they can tell you what it means.
  • Be sure they know what it means. Ask them!
  • Here’s one for you! Look up the word “propitiation” or “propitiate.” (It’s always good for the teacher to try to stay ahead of the student! 🙂

Hmmmm. I am at the end of this blog. By the way, if you are not able to read the above paragraph or figure out what it was saying, look up John 3:16 in your Bible.

I am giving away a good example of how to use conversational words to teach deep concepts for FREE. You can click here for a free download of a workbook called Who’s In Charge? If you haven’t received it, but sure to download your copy here. You can make copies for your kids and students (be sure all pages are intact if you copy this- including all copyright info). This is the first session of my most popular book, God… Should I Be Baptized?

This blog about how to use conversational words is one of my favorites. If you liked this blog, pass it on! Share on Facebook, Twitter or by Email. (even if only for the free workbook!)

Thanks and meet you next week!

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Communicating with your Kids-

2 wrong ways to communicate

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Teaching Tips in Communicating with your kids

​I am back to blogging about teaching (kids or anybody for that matter). Actually it will be a good series that can be applied to general communication, so even if you don’t teach kids, stick with me on this. It may even improve your marriage!

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Are we making a connection with our kids? Are we teaching so they understand? Or are we just teaching and HOPE they understand? I think there is a big difference! You need to be communicating with your kids.

Over the years, I have taught in the community college, as well as kids both in the classroom and one-on-one. I love to teach about things that matter. (Not that I don’t enjoy arts and crafts, but I am most fulfilled when I am imparting something to a child that has value, especially eternal value.) My teaching has been a variety of age levels. The communication style and level has to be adjusted according to who you are talking to.

2 Wrong Ways of Communicating with your Kids

There are many approaches to teaching. Some teachers figure that kids don’t have the comprehension of adults, so they don’t give them much to comprehend. They leave out the hard stuff. Some teachers think that all facts are equal, and teach them in the same way that one would teach college student.

I don’t think either of these teaching styles are right. I believe kids can understand many deep concepts if they are taught in a way that will help them understand. I also believe that you can lose them in the dust, galloping down the road of education. I’m going to spend some time in this blog series talking about techniques to help kids understand harder concepts. I will be talking about how not to lose kids when you teach them the full scope of a message. Are we willing to teach Truth or do we skip parts because we don’t think they will understand? I hope this will be valuable for communicating with people of all ages, because aren’t we all like kids in some ways?

So tune in next blog for the first in this series: What Language are You Speaking?

In the meantime, I want to share with you one of the pictures from my newest picture book, “To The Rescue.” This book does not shirk the hard concept of rescue through the Bible yet it makes it enjoyable and understandable. Communicating with your kids in a way that fills them with truth and yet taught in such a way that they understand it is my goal.

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The Problem with Assumptions

in the classroom!

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Have you ever had a conversation, and you thought you knew what they were talking about, but it turns out they were talking about something completely different. Things that they said seemed very strange. These false assumptions happen every once in a while in our household.

Rollercoaser Ride (against blue sky)

Rollercoaser Ride (against blue sky)

Sometimes these conversations can be quite funny. Here is an example. (I made this up.)

False Assumptions

Joe is recapping his previous day to his friend, Pete. He tells him that he went to the dentist to get a filling, first thing in the morning. Then he told him that went to Magic Mountain, the roller coaster theme park, later in the day. As he thought about the day’s events, he was most excited about the roller coaster. So that is what he began to talk about. Well, his friend thought he was describing his day chronologically. As he described the theme park, Joe’s friend was picturing that he was describing getting a filling at the dentist office. False assumptions! The conversation went like this:

Joe: Wow! I couldn’t believe how crowded it was. I think everybody in the county was there. The lines were so long it took about an hour to get in. It was sure a popular place to be! I can’t remember waiting so long to pay for anything. Well, we finally got in and we were on our way. We headed straight to my favorite part. I got strapped in my seat and click the seatbelt. I was ready for a wild ride. It started to go really fast. I couldn’t believe it when my seat went upside down and I was hanging from the seatbelt. I screamed out loud, “this is so fun, this is so fun.”

Pete: Wow! That’s never happened to me before. Are you sure you didn’t fall asleep and were dreaming?

Joe: Fall asleep! Of course not. It was way too exciting for that. I sure can’t wait until I go again. I think it was one of my favorite moments so far this year.

Pete: Well, I’d better get your dentist’ s number. I’m ready for an adventure. My trips to the dentist are much more boring.

Joe: Dentist? I wasn’t talking about the dentist. I was talking about the roller coaster at Magic Mountain!

This seems pretty extreme. But I have had conversations that seems crazy because I thought the person I was talking about something completely different. This can also happen easily when you’re teaching.

False Assumptions in Teaching

Have you ever been talking to a child and their mind is somewhere else? (of course, I know the answer to that) You might be telling them the story of Joshua and how he blew the trumpet and the walls came tumbling down. The child hears the word trumpet and immediately thinks of his older brother who plays in the high school band. He now is thinking of him practicing, and wonders if the walls of his house are going to fall any time soon. You will lose the important point of the story, that God fought the battle for him when he trusted Him, if you don’t get him back from thinking about his brother. (I know this is extreme, but if you have spent any time in the classroom of young children, you have probably seen similar situations.

What can you do to avoid this? A simple way is to ask them to repeat back what they understand. You can ask a student questions about things in the story or their thoughts, or you can ask them to put what you just said into their own words.

As you are teaching, it’s important to keep monitoring that they are tracking with what you are saying. When you are teaching in a group, asking questions is time well spent because it also serves as review for everyone. It propels discussion in the classroom which keeps the class more interesting.

Do you have a funny story that you could share with us? We’d love to hear about a time when you were misunderstood or did not understand someone else because you thought they were talking about something different. We’d love to hear about a time when an assumption caused a crazy result. 🙂

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Building Blocks in Teaching

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Building Blocks Are Critical!

Building blocks necessaaryl! When I was in my early 20’s, I enrolled for a college calculus class. The class had a reputation for being a very difficult class with a horrible professor, but it was the best time for my schedule, so I enrolled. I knew others that had taken calculus and had done fine. I really thought I would do okay. It was a matter of only a few weeks into it, that I realized I wasn’t passing the class. I did something I’d never done before, I dropped the class.

math problem- building blocks

I learned a good lesson at an early age. I believe I could have taken the class and done okay, but there was one important ingredient missing. When I had taken pre-calculus, I’d missed the classes on sine and cosine, (mathematics principles) due to illness. I tried to catch up and thought I understood it, but I didn’t understand it solidly. I think the professor knew that I needed a solid foundation or I wouldn’t succeed in calculus. He did me a favor by weeding me out early rather than late in the class.

I think that was the first time that I really realized the importance of foundational learning. Since then, I’ve come to believe there’s very little that you can’t understand if you clearly understand the building blocks that lead up to it. Here is an example:

Look at this sentence. Sally  +  the race.

Can you decipher what this means? Probably not, unless I tell you what the symbol   +   means. We get an idea that there’s a girl named Sally and that she does something in the race, but unless you know what + means, you have no idea what she’s doing. You might guess that she wins the race or maybe loses the race, but you don’t know for sure.

So when I look more closely at Sally, and see tear falling down her cheek, I don’t understand if it is a tear of sadness because she lost the race or joy because she won the race. If I knew what  +  means, I could maybe understand why she was crying.

So now let me tell you what   +  means. It means “quit.” Now that you know that, you can understand why Sally might be crying. Actually, Sally twisted her ankle and had to quit the race. Her tears were from frustration from having to quit the race she wanted so badly to run.

This is just a rough example of how important it is to understand all of the building blocks before we can clearly understand the concept.

I believe that most finite things can be understood if they are broken down in such a way that the foundational concepts are understood. It is our job as educators to break down hard concepts and be sure that the foundational concepts have been learned. Let me give an example.  In chapter 2 of God, Should I Be Baptized?, we discuss why we should put our trust in Christ for salvation. If we don’t have the foundation from chapter 1, which describes the character of God as good, faithful and loving, (among other qualities) we won’t have the basis for trusting God. (why would you trust the God that is not good?) So it is important to review the foundational facts to be sure they are understood before we teach a subject.

Looking back in my life, I really didn’t need that calculus class. As it turns out, the lesson I learned about foundational teaching was far more important. Can you think of a time when you found it necessary to review building blocks or had trouble learning something new because you didn’t have the foundation? Will you share your comment below with us? 

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Retaining Volunteers and Inspiring Them

Or anyone for that matter

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Let’s say you are in charge of managing the nursery during church on Sundays. Volunteers rotate so they don’t miss the service every week. But recently you’ve had a number of nursery workers quit for a variety of reasons. Your best worker is pregnant again and can’t be on her feet, a family is moving, and another worker has to care for her elderly parent. Retaining volunteers is a challenge. What do you do?

Volunteers and Teamwork

Volunteers are a precious commodity. In the workforce, an employee has a standard to maintain in order to keep his job or be paid. The paycheck is a strong motivation. In the church, there are few paid positions and most are volunteers. It’s a very different experience to lead volunteers compared to paid employees.

However, even in the workplace the paycheck is not necessarily the best motivation for a job done excellently. Bosses and managers are continually trying to figure out how to improve the morale among their employees because they know it will result in better performance.

Retaining volunteers is critical. So what is it that motivates good performance, loyalty, and consistency. I think there are things that leaders can do to encourage these if you are a children’s ministry leader, a parent leaving children, a Sunday school teacher, or a grandma I think you will benefit from learning how to lead volunteers because the same principles apply.

Here are some practical tips that may help.

Be in constant communication with your workers. They need to know they have your full support. Whether it be a phone call or an email, be in touch weekly. Find out if they are having any problems and if is there anything you can help them with. Even a small problem can be overwhelming if you’re not sure how to handle it. If you are in communication they will feel free to bounce ideas off of you if they are unsure about anything. There is nothing like feeling that your leader cares about you, to foster loyalty. (Hopefully this doesn’t really need saying, but if you are a male or female leading the opposite sex, you have to be very careful to not behave in any way that encourages intimacy.) All of the natural male- female boundaries need to be in place.

Foster a team feeling among the workers. Meetings of the workers to brainstorm together can do this. A leadership style which facilitates rather than dictates works better in retaining volunteers. You can present a problem and ask the team to help with solutions. It’s amazing what great ideas can come from the variety of thinkers on your team. I find frequently I think I have a great idea, but when I get others’ input it molds and improves my original idea. And the workers will have more passion for what they are doing when they have been part of the planning.

Be sure they know they are appreciated. Nothing is worse than working at a task requires long and hard hours and you think nobody cares. A quarterly dinner, it can even be a potluck if there is no budget, with some creative programming to show appreciation might help in retaining volunteers.

Be sure the workers know what is expected of them. Nothing is worse when you’re called to do a job than when you don’t know exactly what the expectations are. Your workers need to be confident that they can do the job set before them. You don’t want to come across as bossy or demanding, but rather encouraging and supportive.

So here’s a start. There’s much more to be said on this topic. We’ll definitely revisit retaining volunteers as well as recruiting. In the meantime, can you leave any questions or any ideas below that you have that you can share with others? We will all benefit from your input.

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Daddy Please Hurry Home

A Tear Jerker

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When my daughter was 12, she recorded this song on the 4-Ever His! Album with her sisters. She s now 30 with a daughter of her own. But Daddy Please Hurry Home still brings tears to listeners ears! (One person told me they had to pull off the freeway because they began crying too hard.) It was written for her to sing by Jim Covell.

This is a tribute to all fathers out there! Happy Fathers Day!

Daddy Please Hurry Home on You Tube.

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Encountering Obstacles in Teaching

Moving forward in God's will

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Encountering obstacles

Help in Encountering Obstacles

Encountering obstacles? Last week I talked about when we were driving in the mountains and the car in front of us stopped on the curve going up the hill. We had to stop and consequently we began to slide backwards and stopped on the gravel just a few feet from the cliff! When we stopped moving forward, we began to slide backwards!I mentioned several things that cause us to stop moving forward. One of them was encountering obstacles.
Do you need help with encountering obstacles? We need to be moving forward or we risk sliding backwards. Moving forward in our own strength is useless at best. And it usually eventually messes things up more than they were to begin with. We want to move forward in God’s will and strength.
Those of us who are believers all say that we want God’s will for our lives. We say we want to seek and fulfill God’s purpose in our lives. But when we study Scripture and we see what God asks us to do, eventually we all find there are obstacles in doing God’s will. I have come up with nine obstacles and I know you can probably find more.
Here are  nine obstacles to doing God’s will and their corresponding Scriptures.

What gets in our way of doing God’s will?

1.  I think I don’t have the ability.

  • 2 Corinthians 1:21

2.  I don’t want to do it because it is too hard.

  • Philippians 4:13

3.  I don’t know how to do it?

  • James 1:5

4.  I am lazy.

  • Proverbs 15:19
  • Proverbs 18:9

5.  Others will make fun of me if I do it.

  • Matthew 4:10

6.  I am afraid to do it.

  • Jeremiah 17:8

7.  I’d rather serve myself.

  • Luke 8:14

8.  There are other things more important to me than serving God.

  • Psalm 19:8-10
  • Psalm 119:10

9.  I try do do His will in my own strength instead of His strength and I fail.

  • Philippians 4:13
  • John 14:26

It is not too early to begin to teach this to kids, very simply. You might spend a week on each obstacle talking about what this might look like in their lives and then read and talk about the Scripture that goes with it. Talk to them about how God can help in each of the situations.

Some of you might be thinking, But I want to know God’s will for me on a day to day basis. I want to know God’s will on major decisions. He doesn’t tell us those in Scripture. But He does tell us plenty of things that he does want us to do. We need to start with those. If we are trusting Him, and following Him in the small things, then the grand picture will be obvious. And if it isn’t, then we can make any number of correct choices as long as we are following those things He does tell us to do.

If we look at the list above, we might find that most of the encountering obstacles are self-induced. Identifying the reason/excuse for our not doing what is right is a great start. Then we can pray for God’s help and find others to hold us accountable. Now, let’s all go and do God’s will for us!

I have written a picture books about Ephesians 2:10. It is about living in God’s purpose. It is called Mr. Blue- a Job for You. Mr. Blue finds all kinds of reasons not to step up to the plate. This would be an excellent way to show kids they can serve God by being available.

Please leave a comment about other obstacles you have encountered and how you have dealt with them.

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When We Almost Died on Our Honeymoon…

and What I Learned

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It was 37 years ago, but I remember it as though it was yesterday. Tim and I were heading up to Mount Baldy, in Southern California, for a short ski trip before our honeymoon cruise that would begin a few days later.

In Southern California 37 years ago, four-wheel-drive SUVs were not as common as they are today. So we were in a rear wheel drive Honda, heading up the mountain. People in Southern California generally don’t know how to drive in snow and ice. (including us)

Mountain Cliff

Mountain Cliff

There had been a storm a few days earlier so this snow was good for skiing. This was a nice day, but the roads were icy in a few areas. We were heading up the mountain, following another car when we came to a sharp turn. We were in the outside lane which hugged the cliff, which was over the valley that was about 1000 feet down.

It so happened that there was ice on the road right on the turn. The driver of the car in front of us stopped on the turn when he saw the ice, and therefore we had to stop also- right on the ice. We began to slide. It was a slow slide, sort of a slow-motion slide. With no guardrail on the road, we envisioned ourselves sliding right over the cliff.

 We were stopped, not able to move forward, yet unintentionally sliding backwards. But yet, God protected us. (I am here writing this, so you know we didn’t go over the cliff.) There was about 3 feet of gravel between the ice in the cliff and that stopped us.

 I learned several great lessons on that trip,most of which I will have to save for another time. But one in particular stands out at the moment. That is, it takes no effort to slide backwards. As we are learning and growing we need to keep making steps forward. If we stop, we may find ourselves going in the wrong direction.

 We don’t have to go fast or take big steps, but we need to keep moving in the right direction, even if it is in small steps. Everything we do should have purpose. Even our rest and relaxation has purpose. It is when we stop moving forward with purpose that we risk sliding backwards. I wrote a series on God’s purpose for us several months ago. You can read that here.

 There are several things that can cause us to stop moving forward. Here are a few of them.

  • Unforeseen obstacles
  • Exhaustion (build rest into your schedule)
  • Not pacing yourself
  • Unforeseen changes
  • Not having the right tools
  • Not having a plan

I will speak to each of these in upcoming blogs. So stay tuned. And don’t find yourself sliding back on the ice!

Do you have a story when you found yourself slipping backward because you weren’t moving forward? I would love to hear it so would you please share it below?