Comparison That Crushes

Who is your “comparison that crushes?”

Do you remember a time in your life (or maybe it’s even right now), that you looked at everyone around you and felt hopeless. Maybe not hopeless in a general sense, but hopeless in your ability to make a meaningful contribution. Jen was a better artist, Mark was a better speaker, Sarah was more congenial and had many friends, Joe was brilliant, Mary was clever, Sally was gorgeous, and even the “unknown soldier” had qualities of bravery that you didn’t have. How discouraging it can be to look around us and compare ourselves, our “insides,” to the “outsides” of the best of the best. Yes, comparison crushes! We know very well our internal thoughts and failures and we compare those to the shiny, polished, practiced and perfected part of others that they allow us to see.

I was the youngest of four kids in my family. All of my siblings excelled in the various things they did. One sister was an extremely talented musician, my brother was student body president of our high school, and another sister was the lead in the school musical and socially strong. Then I came along. I felt I couldn’t keep up with any of them, much less all of them. Clearly, my viewpoint of life was not a healthy one, nor a godly one. This was comparison that crushes.

Where did Moses go wrong?

The Christian is not exempt from these feelings. In fact, our desire for sanctification may even make us more desire to do things well. That, in itself, is not bad, but when it becomes self-focused and in our own strength, it is not biblical. When God appeared to Moses and asked him to do a task, to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses’ first reaction was to tell God that he was not the best person for the job because he did not speak eloquently. Scripture tells us that this made God angry. Can you imagine that? The great leader, Moses, made God angry because he questioned his ability to do God’s request. He figured there was someone else who could do it better. Well maybe there was, but God was asking him, not someone else! This is the comparison that crushes. When we compare ourselves to others, we crush our responsiveness to God’s leading.

Somewhere along this road of life, God taught me that comparing myself to others was very wrong. He taught me that my eyes should not be on myself nor on the others around me, but that my eyes should be on Him. If I am focused on God and serving Him, and Him alone, I won’t worry if I am doing a good enough job. I will jump to do His will and not question His will. I am still learning the “Moses lesson” of listening to God and responding in full trust of Him.

A modern day parable of Ephesians 2:10.

It is from this place that I wrote “Mr. Blue- a Job For You.” Mr. Blue is a story based on Ephesians 2:10. He is a blue triangle that sits on the side of the road, comparing himself to each of his friend’s colors and shapes as they pass by. Each of them has qualities that he doesn’t have. He feels useless and uninspired. When they invite him to come and help, he declines. But in the end of the story he is surprised to find that God had a special job for him all along, a job that only he could do.

Has there been a time in your life when you found yourself responding more to the world’s expectations than to God’s? How did God change you or are you still waiting for the change? Who or what was your comparison. Please share with us!

Next week I will explore the topic of how to teach kids to seek God’s purpose for them in the second of the Comparison that Crushes series.